Who's In The Shower With My Daughter?

In the time it took for me to take the trash out to the curb, my daughter snuck someone in the shower with her. She was pretty ballsy about her behavior too. She didn't even try to hide it. Things took a sharp turn for the worse.

"Stop tickling me there!" I was genuinely confused, because, to be quite honest, I was still trying to wrap my brain around what was happening on the other side of the locked bathroom door.

"Who is your sister talking to?" I asked.

"I don't know. I'm not her keeper," the showering-in sin's sister said from the living room.

"Thanks for nothing," I muttered.

"Huh? What?"

"I'm just trying not to come unglued," I retorted.

"It's in the desk drawer," she said exasperatedly. "Where it always is."

"Huh? What's in the desk drawer?"

"The glue. The glue's in the desk drawer," retorted my bizotch of a daughter.

"Why am I even having this conversation with you?"

"Because you're trying to figure out who's in the shower with your daughter."

Okay, this little shit is getting on my last nerves. It turns out I recognized who was in the shower with my daughter. And, for the record, I didn't have a problem with it. No, I'm not that progressive. One of those parents that have contraceptives in a bowl displayed like fresh fruit.

She was in there with her imaginary friend. On a positive note, research shows that kids who create an imaginary friend are often extraordinarily bright, creative, and if I were to base it on the anecdotal evidence I've observed so far, imaginative.

It is a little uncomfortable knowing that she's getting all friendly with her imaginary friend Tyler. Yeah, my girl's imaginary friend is a boy. Shoot, if I'd known that, I'd created someone like Kelly Le Brock. Either way, time to get out my imaginary shotgun.